My McCall

So I know my family already knows all of this, but I can't quite hold it in. I feel compelled to put into words what McCall does for me, but I know I'm just not capable.

So the short version is this: McCall for me is a coming home to the essential me. It is the dropping off of all the weight with which life has loaded me, and it leaves me feeling as complete and clean as the first dive off the dock does. The physical place is all it takes. The trees, the lake, the cabin--all of it is sort of a home for my soul. Dad says that it changes, has changed already, and while he is technically correct (no denying the ice skating rink in place of the old Shavers, to name just one), the essence of McCall is just what it has always been. I believe that there are places capable of holding history, and the area surrounding Payette Lake is such a place. Maybe because there is so much of my grandma there, or my dad, or my own childhood--but we are other places, too, that don't hold us the same way. It feels like the earth there soaks up life as we live it, waits for us to come back to reclaim it.

Then again, maybe it's just the joy of not having to shower, to dress in anything other than a swim suit and a big hat, to drink as much Kool-Aid as my stomach can hold. It's being able to read for eight hours a day. I like the feeling of being remote, unreachable (I had to really work to pretend Oliver's computer was a figment of my imagination--I don't want to believe the internet is available! No TV! No cell phones! No contact with the outside world except the old red phone with it's long, over-stretched cord, please). It's simple, really. It's cucumbers in vinegar. And that's enough.

And in large part, it's the fact that I'm with family. It's safe to let go of yourself when you're surrounded by people who hold all the parts of you safe in themselves.

That's the short version. So now I'm home, ready to deal with the 65 emails and 15 phone messages that await. Or maybe I'm more ready to ignore three fourths of those, and that's the difference. Either way, I love McCall and the family I find there. I took a lot of pictures and sent them to all my family, but here's the one that makes my heart sing. Continuity.